Strange Video Game Reviews: Portal 2

There are spoilers here.

There have been tons of negative reviews about Portal 2. When it was first released, there was the controversy over the add-ons Valve made available for purchase. This content was nothing more then hats, gestures, and the like. It's nothing that makes the game better. There was also problems with how long the game was. I've beaten it three times now and I can tell you it's certainly not just two or three hours long.

Having said that, there are even more reviews of Portal 2 that complain about everything from "it's a puzzle game" (duh..) to the test chambers. Here's one review  that talks about the price, among other things.

First they call it "witty" and "comical." Yep, I agree. But then they say they would have given it five stars, not two if it was $20.00 on Steam. Apparently because there are games like Call of Duty, Killzone 3, and Dragon Age 2 out there, Portal 2 should be cheaper.  CoD is known for its short single player campaign. There's multiplayer too, but the single player only lasts about five hours.  Besides, it's a FPS about war, how is it similar to Portal?  Dragon Age is an RPG. They can last forever. I'm fairly certain there's no Portal gun or companion cubes in Dragon Age. It's useless to compare Portal to games that are the same price but in completely different genres. 

Looking at the other points of the review:
The part about the environments not changing is untrue. If you look at the three main sections of the game (waking up GLaDOS, old Aperture, and Wheatley's Aperture) they are vastly different. In the first game, the environments didn't change much. That can not be said for Portal 2.

And of course, the story has no twists and turns... I mean I always thought that GLaDOS was going to turn into potato one of these days. Or that Wheatley was going to be a "bad guy." Or that you could make portals on the moon.......

But  if you're a fan of Valve, none of this matters cause we're mindless fanatics. Hooray for insulting people who liked the game too. Good job.

P is for Portal

*bounces* It's finally here! Portal 2 was released today! To celebrate, I feel compelled to post a song I don't think I can get sick of:



Not only is there a new single player campaign, but there's also a c0-op campaign. Good-bye social life for awhile. Besides the mind bending physics of the Portal gun and the puzzles,  the new gels and other tricks like the panels,  you still have to deal with GLaDOS. I'm so excited to hear her taunting in Portal 2!

In the original  game, she was helpful at first and down right murderous at the end. Then you go and destroy her.  She turns around and sings during the credits about how she's "still alive". In the second game, you still play as Chell.  Aperture Science is in a state of severe disrepair, but that doesn't stop GLaDOS from rebuilding the facility.

I expect the sequel to be awesome from start to finish. The first Portal was an amazing experience, from the weighted companion cube to learning that "speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out." While it's hard to top the unprecedented success of the short game wedged into the Orange Box,  I have faith that Portal 2 will be just as good, if not better.

N is for Non-Playable Video Game Characters

C was for playable characters, so N is for characters you can't play but still leave a lasting impression.  How can you be attached to a character that you don't play? Some characters are just that awesome.  Here are a few of my non-playable video game characters.

GLaDOS-  Definitely. How can you play Portal and not love the sassy, lying, murderous GLaDOS?  She's so awesome it's sort of hard to write a short paragraph on her. Luckily, the 19th is what I'm calling "Portal Day" because the second one will be released. So you'll get much more GLaDOS then. For now, let's just say Portal would have worked without her omniscient voice goading you on. But, having GLaDOS is the icing on the non-existent cake. (sorry, I just couldn't help it)

The Carmines- Gears of War's brothers have become a fan favorite. From Anthony to Ben to the newest brother Clayton, everyone loves the Carmines. Sure, Anthony and Ben died, but their rookie enthusiasm lives on. (My favorite moments include Ben dropping his gun on his foot) Let's hope the seasoned, buff  Clayton lives in Gears 3.

Legend of Zelda- Zelda is the king of weird non-playable characters. In fact, I wrote a whole article on it. Who can forget the weirdness of the Happy Mask man or the Hand in the Toilet? I'm not kidding. It's hard to pick just one.

Andrew Ryan- You're lead to believe that Ryan is BioShock's big, bad guy to kill at the end. But not so fast. Ryan is the founder of Rapture and his voice haunts and taunts you through out the game. When you finally get to him, he gives one of the most memorable speeches in video games. "A Man Chooses, a Slave Obeys..."

Alma- The creepy girl from F.E.A.R. is one character that is hard to forget. Not only does you pop up and scare the crap out of you, her story is much deeper and screwed-up then I could ever have imaged. Bring on the F.E.A.R. 3!

There's many characters that I'm sure I'm forgetting and hopefully, I will have time to talk about them later this month. But for now, these are the ones that stick in my mind the most.