Strange Video Game Reviews: Twilight Princess

In the spirit of all the awesome Zelda and Nintendo news at E3 this week, I give you a completely weird review of Twilight Princess. This one especially gets me because *cough*ImaZeldageek*cough*and  I just started a new game of TP.

So that's wrong with this one? Personally, the complaint here doesn't make sense to me at all. In fact, I have the opposite complaint with the game. The reviewer claims to have walked around for about 2 hours and couldn't figure out what to do. They say they had to look up online hints. What???

Okay, maybe it's because I've been playing Zelda since dinosaurs roamed the Earth, but TP basically holds your hand through the game. It's certainly isn't like the original LoZ, where Link was dumped off in the middle Hyrule and all you did was wander around until you found something. All the help you got was a map that was packaged with the game and a few characters who spoke in poorly translated English.  There was no internet.

All you got to do in Twilight Princess is interact with your surroundings, for example, you can talk to people. There's a whole town's worth of people to talk to in the beginning of the game. If you talk to them, you know what's going on and what they need help with.  The "close up the ranch" complaint is strange. I assume this person means rounding up the goats and putting them in the barn. Yeah, all you got to do is ride on Epona and press A and the goats will run in the barn. It's simple.

Another complaint is "there's nothing to explore." That's blasphemy. Zelda is all about exploring. There's hidden things to find, bugs to collect, new sword moves to learn, wolf songs to find, mini-games etc etc.   

My favorite is "you can't figure this out on your own." I must be a freaking genius. I've been figuring out Zelda since I was 10. I'm awesome. *rollseyes*